"Everything Is Weird": Narceus americanus
This here is a specimen of Narceus americanus, a North American millipede. I found it near our tent while camping at Wells State Park in Massachusetts. They can grow up to 4 inches in length and have evolved to secrete benzoquinones—which can burn skin and irritate eyes—as a defense mechanism. This little dude, feeling unthreatened, serenaded us with a cover of a Michael Hurley classic, which we luckily captured on camera.